Trying To Hard to Stall Time

Some days I realize how hard I'm working to keep my kids little for as long as possible. Today was one of them. On the way to drop off Em at preschool for one of the last few times ever. I realized that this summer is my last time with her as my baby. She's going to grade school next year and she will grow up so much faster after that. In a little over a month she'll be turning 5. 5 years since felt my heart expand to envelope this tiny baby and held her in my arms for the very first time. 5 years since I was so unsure what to do so afraid I would do it wrong. 5 years since I became a mother for the first time. 5 years since I fell in love so deeply I couldn't breath. It seems to me I've never lived life without Em. She's a part of me. I can't remember a time she wasn't ever present in my mind or my heart. My life before her is foggy at best. I'm not sure I deserve such a wonderful amazing bright loving child not sure how to prove to her that I do or why I feel the need to prove it to her now before she heads off to her first year of school in the real world?