Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Life Lessons I Can't Seem To Grasp

You know as a mother we all try to protect our children from the pain felt while learning those little life lessons like who to trust and who to call friend. It's a sucky thing but one each individual needs to learn in their own way. No matter how much it hurts the people on the outside looking in. I remember the look on my mom's face when I was a kid with some terrible earth shattering news. She was so helpless to stop what she knew was coming. I feel just like that a lot of times and I'm sure I will a lot more.

Why am I talking about this? Well it seems these are not lessons I have learned well in my life and I needed a current fresher lesson to reffer to whenever meeting new people and making new aquantinces. Sad as it may be as an adult I'm at least relieved, now, to have it over and to know what I'm dealing with instead of the unknown and the initial shock and hurt and then the question how to deal with it. At least I know when to walk away quit trying not put anymore energy into a lost cause I know when these things are outside my control and never will be within it. But still it makes me wonder, as a mother, what I can do for my girls to help lessen this pain, the feeling of betrayal, the question "what did I do wrong?" I don't have the right answer at the moment but I have to think that this lesson has been retaught(is that a word?) to me for a specific reason at this very moment in time so that I can learn something positive and apply it to mine and those around me's lives in a positive way. And you know I've seen my mom's face just like that a number of times this week when I close my eyes to think. I should have known there was a lesson coming! And before my Mom reads this and freaks out she's not dead or anything she's alive and well in TN(Hi Mom we got the box you sent the girls toda!) I can just see the look that's all!

Ok blah blah blah blah! I'm going to say it here for the last time for all of you that have had to listen to me all week long about this! This is my last negative statment. I'm glad the NASTY is GONE!!! Hopefully soon out of my life for GOOD! I hope she gets help for whatever ails her but I do not need to suffer because someone else is COMPLETELY unhappy in their lives and I will not be lied about or to period end of story! TAKE ALL THAT NEGATIVE CRAP AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

Seeeeeeee this is why I blog it's so freakin CATHARTIC! Instead of Shouting from the rooftops I'm shouting it from my BLOG! NASTY'S BE GONE! My next post will be happier I have some new awesome projects in the works I just need to put some finishing touches on!

2 comments:

Gretchen said...

wow! Someone dissed you bad eh!? Hope things get better now!!!!

Christi Snow said...

((((((hugs))))) to you hon! I hope that the nastiness is gone forever!